i have joined the revolution

It is possible, that unemployment begets a breakdown of will, and so after much procrastination and vocal disdain, I now have a Facebook page. In the finer words of my son, "I did it."

rainy days

I thought that unemployment would give me a bountiful of hours to do pretty much nothing, I have been surprised as to just how quickly the day passes. My days consist of scouring the interwebs for jobs and maybe still being a bit too choosy about what I want to take. I have also been exploring thoughts of a possible career change, and have come up with some exceptionally low paying alternatives. They would include opening my own bakery, painting fulltime/tortured artist thing, playing xylophone in an indie band, becoming a music critic, starting my own culturally relevant (and well designed) magazine, and becoming a fashion designer (hello project runway). Probably in my best fiscal interests, to take what I can get and perhaps spend my spare time honing my other skills.

I have been making a concerted effort to try to get out and enjoy Chicago before winter strikes. I went to the MCA last week and wandered the rooms and forgot how much I missed being around art. I also made it down to the Pilsen Art Walk in hopes of talking to a design principal that I greatly admire and actually crossed paths with her but found myself tongue tied and regrettably missed out.

Last week was a good week for music. Saw the Stars at the Vic, was slightly disappointed but can't help but to feel like my rather grandious expectations were going to be hard to fulfill. I also caught a friend's band at the Bottom Lounge, and along the way had an interesting small world run in. I had gone to a networking event earlier that evening and had talked to two other designers, thought that they were nice enough, and a mere hour later ran into them again at the show...this city is far too small.

Also, made it out to not one but two zoos. My companion for these outings was my favorite little man, Ethan. He had a half day field trip to the Lincoln Park Zoo with his school and my unemployed status allowed me to sign up as a chaperone. The zoo was satisfactory, somewhat limited in time and overall thought the school bus was almost as beloved as the tigers and monkeys. I must say, that there is nothing more heartwarming then seeing a dozen 2 year olds holding a ring rope, it is like a 12 legged race bumping along. We also went out to the Brookfield Zoo and the petting zoo was the by far the highlight of the day. Ethan informed me that instead of a horse, he would now like a llama. Good thing Christmas is just around the corner.

In a closing thought, I am coming to terms that certain chapters of my life are coming to a close and am still wrestling with all that has happend. This has all been much more difficult then I ever expected it would be. I am hoping that an improved and wiser version of me emerges, and that I can look back on all of this and know that I came out the other end ok.

i think i am molting

I have always heard that stress can manifest itself in different ways. For the past few weeks, my lips have been acting a little nutty. They have been painfully chapped even with constant lip balm application, and appear to be molting. It was pointed out to me that it could be stress, which would make sense being as I am just a titch stressed about the state of my life, marriage and sanity. But why the lips? I am afraid that their weathered appearance may start to scare Ethan a little. Or what if I have to go to a job interview this week, it would be like going on a first date with a cold sore, a deal breaker for sure.

I hope that they stop freaking out, it is starting to stress me out.

the first date

I have always thought that job searching was kind of like dating, and today I had my first date. The other week I had met a creative director of a large ad agency, we had chatted briefly and I told him I was in the market for a new job and gave him my email. To my delight, he had emailed me and I sent him my resume and a few portfolio pieces. I heard back and he definitely seemed interested and we set a time and a date.

Now, I have been off the market for awhile now, and man alive, was I nervous, did I still have it? The day came, and I did what all girls do before a big date, I put on my make-up, straightened my hair and ironed for the first time in an embarrassingly long time, slipped on some heels and out the door I went.

I would compare the place to a BMW, it was modern, slick and fast. Where I have become much more accustom to say, a Honda Civic, it is dependable, cute and small. The actual interview went pretty well, there was polite conversation, and I felt like he laughed at all of my jokes and made me feel pretty again. I admit that it wasn't love at first sight, but there was chemistry, and for right now he wasn't looking for a major commitment, but I certainly hope that he calls again.

after the rain

Here goes...

The past few months have been tumultuous to say the very least. I would liken it to the weather here in Chicago, constant rain for 48 hours, and now the skies are still cloudy but the worst of it has passed. You can't predict the weather, but sometimes you know when the storm is coming.

Mike and I have split up. There are many versions of this story, my pr department did a rather shoddy job of letting people know what was going on, and for this I apologize. Having to explain why a relationship ends, is not easy. All that I can say at this point is, that I am sorry for what has happen and wish that it could have ended differently.

And if that was not enough change for one year, I have also "mutually parted ways" with my job at Sandstorm Design, after three and a half years of employment. It has been a long time coming and I am oddly okay with it. I have been wanting to move on to somewhere else for awhile now, and feel like this is very much the right thing for me and am freakishly optimistic about wherever I land next.

Life changes like these seem to happen at once and in three's. I can remember writing in my journal this past spring, that I intuitively felt that change was coming. And the last time I felt that feeling, my two best friends moved out of Chicago, I found out I was pregnant and got married. I have never been a believer that things happen for a reason; I believe that life should be lived, that we are all human and sometimes things get a bit messy, but you learn and grow.

For those that I haven't spoken to in awhile, please don't be worried or alarmed. I am doing okay. The worst of it has passed and the sunshine should be poking through soon.