seeing pink

So I have been waking up with a weird crust in my eye...yes, I am only getting more attractive with age. After a visit to the ole' Web MD, found that I have a blocked tear duct, pink eye or skin cancer. I am going to go with B, and have been suffering from it ever since. It hasn't been too bad, I have never suffered from this ailment before, it's more a nuisance then anything else. I am reminded that health insurance is a good thing to have.

Ethan has been under the weather as well. No pink eye for him, just a cough and a fever. He stayed home and we hung out and did some projects and watched a movie. It was nice to have some downtime with him. I want to give a shout out to the $1 bins at Target, I bought six animal stamps for a dollar and they kept his attention an impressively long time. So if you have never checked it out and you have a child or like an amazing deal, I would recommend it.

Last weekend, we caught Frightened Rabbit at the Bottle, and it was a really great show. I have been obsessively listening to them for awhile now and it was all that I wanted in a live show. The sounds was great and so was the beer on special.

Next week, I start working again. It is a month long contract up at Abbott Labs, I hope that it is quick and painless, though I fear the commute won't be. But in a burst of good news, I have three interviews lined up in the next few days for permanent jobs, all of which I would happily take if an offer was made. It is a much needed turn of events. It will be good to be employed again and good to have a paycheck and some self-esteem back as well.

when it rains, it pours

Last night, I got an email from this design firm that I had applied at and they want me to come in for an interview next week. Hooray! I had applied for this job a few weeks ago, and when I didn't hear back initially, I thought that I didn't make the cut. In an odd coincidence, I had a portfolio review at this same place when I was fresh out of school, but was still living in Michigan, so the commute would have been rough and I wasn't quite ready to move to Chicago. Anyway, the interview is Tuesday, so cross everything that you got that this goes well.

In other job news, I had a phone interview yesterday for a month long job. Two major draw backs though, very long commute and I would be doing all production work and no design. I am on the fence about taking it, I don't want to pass up work but I also don't want to miss out on other opportunities because I took this job.

There were two more good job leads. One was for a in-house designer job, that I had a phone interview with last week and thought went well and was fairly excited about. The HR person called and left a message earlier this week and I followed up twice this week but to no avail. I was also submitted for another job through another staffing agency, but I haven't heard anything back.

I am feeling hopeful about gainful employment happening by month's end. I need a job.

i'm a believer

The talk of the town this week has, of course, been the inauguration of our 44th President. It is the first inauguration that I have ever gone out of my way to watch, and not just seen as a news clip. I will admit that what choked me up the most, was the 10 minute Obama bio video montage, I actually teared up, it didn't help matters that I was on a treadmill at the time.

Fast forward an hour, we watched the President being sworn in and listened to his speech. I was struck by how truly engaged and passionate people were, it was pretty amazing watching so many people all around the world, watching the same thing with the same expression of joy and hopefulness. I enjoyed how simple and straightforward his speech was, I read the next day that some people felt as though the speech wasn't optimistic enough, but I think for these times, I found it inspirational that we were all in this together and that it was up to each of us to make positive change; there seems to be an overwhelming lack of responsibility on the part of corporations, politicians, Wall Street, public figures... That said, expectation for our new President are at a fever pitch, but like everyone else I am truly hopeful for change.

Shortly after the inauguration, I came down with an awful stomach bug. And spent the next day, in rough shape, everything ached, and I was coughing so hard it was making me throw up. Yum. But today, I awoke, and felt great and have all day. I have never believed in 24 hour flus, due to the fact I never had one before, but I am a believer now. And am glad to be feeling better.

And on a closing note, it seems like everyone is having babies. This month alone, 3 of my friends have had babies, and all three were girls! A congratulations to all of the new parents and a warm welcome to Vivian, Jude and Beatrix. And I have three other pregnant friends, see, things do come in 3's.

formerly known as

Today I took a field trip to my local Social Security office, which much to my shock, I was in and out of in under 20 minutes. The last time I made this venture, it took me just shy of 2 hours, which I followed up with an excruciating 3 hour wait at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Which now looking back, was probably an omen. But there I was again, this time with divorce papers in hand and back to being a Zumstein once again.

Yesterday, via email, I found out that my divorce is final and unbeknownst to me, has been, for over a month now. I am now officially a 32 year-old, divorcee, unemployed, single mom. The only thing that could possibly make this a perfect trifecta, would be to move back in with my mom, back in Michigan. Just typing that makes me nervous (no offense to my mother or to the state of Michigan).

Never fear, things are looking up. I have been applying for some promising jobs. I got an email requesting a phone interview and another requesting my portfolio, both good signs. This week, I am meeting with two more staffing agencies for temp work, since the three that I am currently with, have come through with very little, despite my borderline stalking and constant responses to their job listings. My thought is that with the amount of jobs that I have applied for, something is bound to give.

I was listening to Hillary Clinton's confirmation hearing today on npr and man alive is that a grueling job interview. Pretty intimidating, but she handled it with intelligence and grace. Her ability to articulate and breadth of knowledge amazes me. It makes me want to have a better handle on geography and get a subscription to the Economist. I was less inspired by Bush's last press conference yesterday, but only 7 more days.

big treat

This week was a big one for the little man. We had what Oprah would call an aha-moment on two fronts. The first of which would be the morning school drop off, which is usually traumatizing for both of us, ending with Ethan crying his head off, screaming for mommy, while I slink out with my head down, trying not to be identified as the mother of the sobbing, maladjusted child. Then Tuesday, on a fluke, he brought two of his animal toys and after we washed hands, I was preparing to say good-bye, but he was so preoccupied by his toys, that he just kissed me goodbye with no fuss. I almost cried, it was amazing. And has only gotten better, today, he actually told me "bye, bye mommy, you go now."

The second major milestone has been reached in the potty training department. He has graduated to wearing underwear all day and only wears a pull up when he naps and goes to bed. And this week, he has been pooping in the toilet, a feat that I feared he may never reach, but he has gone almost every day and a "big" treat seems to be excellent motivation.

So all and all, a good week. He is off to stay the weekend with his dad, who has been traveling for the past few weeks. I can't help but to be a little sad that I won't see him all weekend, I have been enjoying his company and am feeling like a mom again.

leopard spots

There is the saying that "a leopard can't change their spots." That got me to thinking about the new year and our desire to make new year's resolutions, vowing big changes and vast improvements. Every year, it crosses my mind to live healthier and to be better with money but really, who doesn't?

My thought this year would be to make goals that are smaller in scale and a bit less daunting then the usual losing ten pounds and becoming debt free. So let the docket begin.

Personal Website: It seems ridiculous that I haven't ever gotten this one done, but since I have a bit more time on my hands and live with someone that can do all of the development for me, it seems to be an opportune time to finish this one up. I have started the design, and hope to have it done by month's end. So stay tuned, more of me to come shortly.

Cooking: This is an area that I have never excelled in or even had any interest in, I have always been a baker, since 8th grade home economics. Since moving to Chicago, I think I can count on two hands how many times I have actually cooked a real meal. Much of my single existence, I subsisted solely on tuna and pb&j sandwiches and quesadillas. I also worked intermittently in restaurants and lived with Charlene, who had chef-training, both bonuses for my nutritional needs. Then I met Mike, who was like an Iron Chef, he could whip up dinner with a few mystery items. But with that meal ticket now gone, I have been cooking almost every night, which I have actually been (gasp) enjoying. It is nothing complicated, but I have been seeking out new recipes, and have been getting over my fear of chopping vegetables.

Blogging: The ultimate goal would be to have more then 5 hits a day and instead have legions of fans anxiously awaiting a new post, which would lead to demands for book deals and bidding wars over movie rights; showcasing my exceptional wit and insight into the life as an urban dweller, part Sex and the City, part Seinfeld with a splash of So You Think you Can Dance (this is only if there is heavy drinking involved).

My Body is My Temple: Gym membership, check. I have now gone almost three months without smoking. Yes, I know it's a bad habit, and it only spiked due to a bit of stress these past few months. But I stopped, so get off my back.

There are lots of other things I want to do, like actually finish reading Crime and Punishment, start painting again, limit myself to only 3 facebook scrabble games at a time, and finding a job should probably be in there somewhere. Here's to the new year.

love at first sight

Watching someone fall in love is always a thing of wonder, but watching your two year old is a whole nother. We spent Christmas Eve with B's family and when the youngest cousin came in, it was like watching a cartoon, complete with eyes popping out of the head and the heart beating out of the chest. From that moment forward, a calm, cool and collected Ethan was glued to her side for the rest of the night. Beforehand, I was worried about him being his usual nutso self and prepared myself for a tantrum or two, but he certainly showed a more mature side then I have ever seen.

I have always been told that my kid was going to be a heartbreaker, but I wasn't quite prepared for such an early start. From this moment forward, I will now be on the lookout for tall, older blondes. I have to confess that him being the son of two designers, I sort of daydreamed about him becoming a super fabulous (fabbbuuluuuss) and famous fashion designer, a mom can only dream.

As for me, I suppose with such a select readership, it really is okay to admit to the 6 or so people that read this blog that I have found the person that makes me feel whole in every possible way. Timing was not everything, but he was a kindred spirit who somehow, someway, I always felt I belonged to and he to me.

I will say that the demise of my marriage was not wholly because of him. There were so many other things wrong and not working. Perspective has been an introspective tool these past few months, there are things that I regret and things that give me pause. I have cried till there was nothing left and been torn to bits over many things. But I can say, that I know that I made the best decision, that I would rather my son grow and flourish in a home that is filled with love and partnership, and me the same.

I hope for this new year to bring some resolve and hope for good things to come. I wish to abide to honesty being the best policy. I admit to not being terribly forthcoming with certain details, but I am going to try my best to change that, to let go a little bit more and be not so afraid of failure and what people think, to be free and feel a bit more like me.